Adders – a prominent ADHD site

As emailed to the membership of the prominent ADHD site Adders by a hurt member, who has received many supportive messages form other members (see comments):

Standing up against unfairness!

Dear Adders people,
Imagine that your child was permanently excluded from school. One deputy head said it was because your child had been ‘causing arguments’, but could give no evidence about what arguments had been caused, when or with who.
The headteacher gave another reason, but it completely contradicted the reason given by the deputy head.
Would that seem fair to you?
Wouldn’t you then keep asking for a reason why your child had been excluded?
Wouldn’t you kick up a fuss and protest the exclusion?

My analogy, as many of you know, relates to me – banned from Adders for a reason nobody will tell me. If you’re a newbie, watch out: this could be you, too, if you disagree with any of the Admin team about anything!

Why was I changed to guest status in the first place and where is the evidence of my causing of arguments?

Sometime in June, I agreed with Samantha on the Adders forums that Adrian (loverablemole/ possibly Cheekychap too) had been a bit rude to her in a post; I also said he probably didn’t realise he had come across so rudely. This was apparently ‘abuse’ of Adrian, although Samantha remains able to post. I also started a thread talking about censorship on Adders in general, like when Bojangles got banned for having opinions others disagreed with. At no time was I ever rude about any individual.

I then had trouble replying to Adrian’s test emails, as they kept getting returned to me.

I posted the following to him on the 3rd July:
“I’ve now had two emails ‘undelivered’ to your email address.
Perhaps this is why people can’t reply to your test emails? Just a thought.This is exfactor. I do not choose to post anymore at the moment, but wish for my membership to remain should I choose to contact anyone through the website in the future.”

I got the following reply from Adrian:
“funny no-one else has a problem replying to my tset email and if we chose to delete memberships we do this for a number of reasons and i have every right as admin for the site to put your membership on restictions as you have caused arguements a nuber of yimes on and it is yor end as i have people reply to their test emails and also your membership has been put onto guest status”

I then obviously complained! I got the following message from Caroline:
“Sorry but you have not been banned. We were simply carrying out your own request. You sent email to Adrian saying that you no longer wished to post but you wished to leave your membership open so you could get in touch with people from the forum boards Therefore we changed your membership status to that of Guest.”


I emailed her back to say, oh, well you misunderstood, but she ignored me, only to respond when I had tried to post about it on the boards saying “after that you decided to spam the boards this is abuse and therefore the final reason was for abuse of the boards (now they had another excuse!)I do not have to explain myself to you anyway at the end of the day I pay for the site – ok so there are some donations now which help – however still the bulk of the costs come from my own pocketyou have
>> abused the rules of the board by spamming and using numerous log in names (like Adrian – Loverablemole and Cheekychap (probably) – but it’s OK for him, hey?) therefore I am free to do as I see feel fit” (but it’s not censorship, oooh no)

JD tells me, yesterday:
“You were temporarily changed to guest status as you were posting offensively on the boards about a member. ”

(Oh…who was I ‘posting offensively’ about? Can you quote the offensive bit, please, just to enlighten me?)

So, what’s the truth? Someone’s distorting things, aren’t they – why was I turned to guest in the first place? It all contradicts – someone’s not being honest.
I apologise to members of the forums whose evening on the 3rd July was disturbed when Caroline chose to turn the boards off, but if what they were doing by banning me was so ok, what is the problem with letting people read about it, like I am doing now? A lot of you will think: go away, you silly woman, and that’s fine (I’m sure Madhouse, Noogsy and Keeny will be able to tell me how ‘sick’ and ‘sad’ I am again as on the thread started about me on 4th July- obviously I’m not allowed to say Adrian is rude, as that’s offensive, but they can say that about me and that’s fine – no hypocrisy there then!), but surely I am entitled to ask a question???????! All I was doing was posting this information, but they kept deleting it. I appreciate that my behaviour on that night broke terms and conditions, but NOTHING I had done up till then ever had, so the reason for banning me just seems to come down to Adrian not liking being told that his manner can sometimes be a bit snappy and rude when people are asking a question.

So, consider my question: Why was I changed to guest status in the first place and where is the evidence of my causing of arguments?

Not only that, but a ‘number of times’, apparently! If anyone has got that evidence of me ‘posting offensively’ before the 3rd of July, please forward it to me so that I can at least know why I have been banned from a website I have been posting on supportively for over a year, offering advice and support to others…cos Admin refuse to tell me why I am banned and can’t even agree themselves on the reason!

JD, having emailed me this week to say I could start posting again if I agree to the Terms and Conditions (which I agreed to), has now said I should go away and set up my own website rather than tell me the answer to that question, cos I said I agreed to the T&C but wanted my question answered first!I have also been asked to apologise to the person I offended, but as they won’t tell me the reason I was banned, I can’t tell who I was banned for offending!

You may think it is silly to be bothered, but unfairness from anyone, adult or child, to anyone else, adult or child, really really annoys me, especially when someone is prevented from expressing their opinion and people won’t back up the accusations they make!

I am able to get onto the adders site, and am even able to post under another identity, although the Admin team have tried to block most of my IP addresses to stop me from even READING the forums, but that’s not the point. ‘Exfactor’ should not have been banned in the first place!

I know most of you will totally be against what I am saying, and that’s fine. I don’t need to you email me to tell me that! However, if you have any actual evidence that what happened on 3rd July was fair i.e. any proof of me breaking the rules prior to that by offending you or others/ causing arguments, which would justify me being turned into a guest, please do pass it on.

I wouldn’t put up with this if my son was excluded from school for no good reason, so I won’t put up with it for me either.

26 Jul 2006